i thought i wouldn't be able to bear it. again.

i thought i was going to die. again.

lol. jk.

to be honest though, i didn't wanna give up starcraft again. i mean, it's one thing when it's voluntarily punted, but having it taken abruptly clearly showed where my heart was at. it kinda was unsuspected that we were going to "radically amputate" something that we give a lot of our time to during the week. the series for those inquiring is about biblical communication and how things like texting/facebook/vg's take away from the face to face contact as well as the social aspect of everything. it's kinda a double edged sword, but basically they're probably not helping as we use it (e.g. substitute for actually catching up with people with newsfeed). so jared kira asked us to drop those things for a week. most people were dropping texting or facebook or some kind of chat. i think i used to spend a lot more time on those things, but in recent times, i've spent a lot less on those things and more on video games. which is where i knew that it was that thing i was going to give up.

If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

(Matthew 5:29-30 ESV)

i knew the thing i was dropping this week was SC2 because it definitely held a lockdown of my thoughts and time. It wasn't necessarily that i was playing so much, but more that i was thinking about my builds, strategy, and overall skill.

to supplement the availability of time, we were supposed to use it to be a more clear use of our time in a God honoring way.

so i decided to hang out with people i don't hang out with, or hang out with people whom i haven't hung out with. (so if you got a message, yes it was a template, but it wasn't because i didn't want it to be personal (that's why i added a small blip at the end of each one) but more because i wanted it to be clear and focused on the reasoning behind me desiring to hang out. (not to have "miscommunication")

i didn't ask these people if i could post their pictures, but as with any of my posts, you can just tell me to de-post it and i'll remove it. but if you never say anything, your silence will be taken as accepting of my use of your fb picture.

monday was setup with everyone and get car stuff done.

tuesday began with Karen Ma:

haha, i hate the rain. it made me late to hang out with k. butttt it was awesome to catch some elBJ with her (al pastor ftw) and just get to know her better. i hadn't really talked to her much since i met her at the star wars potluck, but it was great to hang out and talk. she views me as a younger brother. ahhaha. high larious, because i'm not that much youngerrrr IMO.

later that night i got to hang out with Sarah Lee:

yayyy. we went to college together, and said that we'd always keep in touch. but i wasn't entirely sure if i was blatantly lying at the time because i'm terrible at keeping in touch (as most friends or past friends can attest to) anyways, we got some koba tofu and then headed to DT Fullerton to get some BOMB.COM gellato. redonk a donk! anyways, when she was ordering for us at the tofu house, it was hilarious. the whole time..... "neh neh neh (x5)" in different alternating tones and nodding of the head. :D hahahaha. (i know it's like saying yes yes yes...but still...i love it)

on wednesday i met up with senor ikeda:

haha. good times. we went to sugar rush cafe. amazing. the raisin bread french toast was ridiculous. i also was late to this meeting. stupid alarm didn't go off. that and i didn't go to sleep till 4ish. -_- anyways, it was a huge blessing to hang out with him and get to know him better. i think there's a lot of stuff we can talk about and we agreed to meet up weekly. hollerrr for being unemployed. -_- jk. not really.

then that night was occupied by wed. night CSULB bible study. me and brian went to AACF early and then to bible study, which went well. ahhaha, sorry to people i saw and didn't say hi to while i was in the area. but i'll be there next week (at least for bible study, maybe not aacf) but yeah, if you wanna catch dinner before, lemme know, and i'm down like jay sean. (((ohhhhhhhh i see what you did there)))

hahaha, ::sidenote:: i went to oceanside that night pickup jdm tails for my car and i was going to hang out with liz nguyen...but when i went to look for her number, i didn't transfer it for some reason, and then when i messaged her on FB and gmailed her to text me it, she didn't have mine either. :facepalm ftl: so anyways, we ended up not meeting up that night which was obv. a blunder on our part and God's will. so next time for sure liz. :D

thursday was UCLA day, so i brought some cookies my mom made for them. i was supposed to hang out with a couple peoples, but one had to study :cough: Sarah Moon, so she was unable to come out. but i still made sure she got the cookies.

in the morning i hung out with my little cousin kai at home:

he's a fan of the pink chair. we like to headbutt each other as a sign of hello and conveying of feelings of mutual appreciation. hahahaha. i love this guy. always happy. always in love with buzz. and always in love with his mommy. and trash trucks. :D (yes i put this picture up so girls will message me about him) ::shameless self-bump for justice:: (that was for you bassy)

but then i got to hang out with Josiah Cheng:

hahahahah, i know i'm going to get a bunch of comments on this, but the first thing i wanna say is that i went into hanging out with him unknown of the connection to JC. HAHAHAHA. redonk. and then i found out he was Jess Cheng's sister. WHAT!?!?! getttt out. anyways, we spent some time hanging out in starbucks westwood area. which was nice, to just get to know each other...we spent most of the time talking about God and our lives. :D then he showed me around campus including his dorm which was awesome as well cuz i got to meet some of the people in his hall. (man college life:tear: goodtimes) it was a blessing to get to know this guy. hopefully more to come in the future.

::sidenote:: all i gotta say is that if i went to UCLA. i would FOR SURE NOT HAVE GONE to any classes due to the crappy hills everywhere. hahahah. but on the real, the campus is 1000000x nicer than crappy UCSB, but there's no doubt SB was 10000000x better as far as location. but other than that. UCLA has one of the nicest setups overall. gross.

then at night i made a gametime decision and came back to anaheim for Christina Pham's bday dinner...

it was awesome, as i love Christina and probably my mom loves her more. hahaha. sad.

anyways, it was a huge blessing that i was able to go and spend some time catching up and just hanging out.

so now i'm done with the week as it's friday and i'm about to sleep cuz i have to many a chore to do tomorrow. but let me end on this note.

at first, i thought i was going to struggle harder with SC2 but actually it was the biggest blessing to hang out with so many different people. it was a little tiring (driving around) but it was awesome (worth it) no doubt. I developed a love (by God's grace) for loving these people, even those that i didn't know, i was excited to hang out with and meet and just be able to have fellowship with them. it was such a privilege.

i made a realization last week before this all began. i know that i'm a social kind of guy, but being social doesn't necessarily translate into me automatically loving the people that i socialize with. just because you hang out with people doesn't mean you actually love them. or to put it in perspective...just because you love someone who loves back you doesn't make you any different than the pharisees.

Thus, i'm trying to make every word, every pause, and every breath in communication be more direct with love and sincerity. i heard a sermon from Francis Chan in which used the gauge of how much of your life resembles Christ? think about that...because that's what's going to matter.

it's far too easy to get comfy in our little social bubbles i've created.

and on that note...this week was for sure 1000000x better than i imagined.

if one were to pose the question,

"JT, would you do it again?"

i would answer, "yes, pleeeeeeaseeeee."

lawl. (thanks to cory i say lawl now)

yea...this was a top 10, for sure. =D ftw.

back again! jT's back! tell a friend!

the time away from blogging on here has given me a fresh perspective on a lot of things. as i stated before, i was pretty caught up in viewership and all i did was incessantly check my google analytics seeing if i could get more people to click through to my blog. as i watched trends and how people came to find my blog, i was obsessed with the idea that i was somehow significant. were people actually interested in my life? or was it just another link that they had setup on their daily list of blogs to view while not working at work. this became too much for me to handle and i had to put it on the bench.

well, the call has come through and i'm bringing this thing up outta the minors. call it gaines. call it posey. in fact, don't call it anything, since it's going to amount to nothing close in that range. i'm going to come back to blogging with a real and vivid idea of what this is all about. and merely, that is to be a means through which i can stream my thoughts and ideas of what life has been throwing at me. yes, it's for you, the reader, but it's also not going to be an idol of my heart as i foolishly had made it out to be.

i've seen some fruit and wisdom in the time i've stepped away from this blog. there is something to be said for keeping your mouth shut and just listening. and mostly i find that in those times, there is so much to learn. i will be making it a normal practice.

i, of course, have kept up with the blogs i read, as well as the blogs that have sprung up while i was out of the game...

i've seen the new and improved blogs that have a home page with arguably my favorite hitter of all time, Junior. i see you scott.

i've seen blogs start up and pretty much never get updated cuz their first post dealt with non-mainstream top 40 artists as the beginning point for their blog (with his friends thrashing his attempt at showing who and what he's about to the rest of the world)...props to russ.

i've seen blogs begin with emotional outpour of the heart... jc ftw.

the thing is, all blogs are created for the very purpose of what their creator has deemed them to be. whether that be sports, music, life, or just pure unconscious streams of their thoughts, it's all whatever you want that blog to be.

much like our lives, our blogs are dictated by the choices we make. there is one major difference, we're accountable to God for them. our blogs are merely products we've constructed from nothing. however, our lives have been created for one purpose. and that's to give glory to God. Over the next few posts, i'll be talking about things i've learned while away from the blog. mostly about what God's been teaching me such as who He is and who i am in relation to Him.

which brings me to where i'm at now. my blog has now ceased to be an idol of mine and i'm ready to begin fresh. but at any point at which it becomes a potential threat. i'm going to drop it again. i don't owe it to anyone to keep this up. and i'm sure you probably don't care enough anyways, hahaha, but the fact is this, i'm accountable for one thing, the management of my life and decisions i make. and that's going to dictate the output and flow of what's going to be posted here.

i'm going to still strive to be transparent and honest, but with obvious censorship when it would be more than unwise to post about certain topics.

the more i've learned, the more i realize just how much i don't know. and i am definitely humbled. the thing i'm going for is to be honest, sincere and real with people i haven't talked to in a long time...and those whom i've just met as well.

the future has much in store. (a giants WS championship? i see you grant) i look forward to the rising sun emerging again from the depths of the darkness to shine ever brighter.

(no i'm not talking about japan's army, they've been done since 45'

...what?!? too soon?)