"He is so much more ready to forgive, than we are ready to repent."- E Chabaneix
God is so good. Praise to His name for His renown and glory.
so so so~! i actually managed to get better enough and make it to retreat. this weekend was amahzing. i haven't really told everyone everything about it, but i'm going to leave it short and sweet.
our speaker was Eric Chabaneix. who is so well versed in scripture. [and attended Masters!] he did a great job of presenting teaching that was both convicting and practical. =] God's Word is so active.
the picture he painted this weekend was with Jonah.
our situation: sinful, utter depravity.
Jonah was the antagonist of the story because he was presuming about so many things (mercy, deliverance, etc) however, we need to not be presuming about anything... especially the relenting of God's wrath or His deliverance of mercy and grace! [ i was reflecting on this fact in my life, and i've realized i have not had the right attitude and have been presuming about things i.e. school future ]. i need to be continually seeking for God so i do not have this presuming attitude! foolish jt.
we need to repent not for the reward of it, but because it is what is necessary and right to God. we have sinned, and before a holy and just Judge, we are guilty. if we are to ask if this is fair... it is! no matter what the end result is [possible annihilation or deliverance from God]...we need to repent. In fact, the most unfair act in history was Christ on Calvary dying for our iniquities! we have no say in any of this, since we were born sinners. God's acts in our sinful lives to save us are so counter intuitive. and grace is so ridiculous. it just doesn't make much sense to me, but obv. God is infinitely wiser than i, a mere sinner. i am just thankful He does give grace to sinners... it is ridiculous.
i was brought to tears multiple times this weekend because of the amount of conviction that the Word of God was bringing upon me. tbh, i got rocked. My previous heart was so calloused that even though there was brokenness so recently, there still remains so much necessary breaking, that i pray God will deliver me from.
on this note, i was talking to E Chabs about seminary, and he told me this story that pretty much made me cry (i did it away so others could not see). he was talking about one of his professors at masters who was like 70's or 80's, and they had been developing a friendship (because apparently you get to know your professors well at masters). and Chabs was talking about the things you never forget in life, and said a line from this professor. he was simply talking about his life in retrospect, and said,
"You know, the Lord still has so much sanctification left for me."
wow. that just blows me away. his humble and contrite spirit has allowed him to gain so much, yet there is so much that needs to be changed due to his sinful nature. simply amazing. that really broke my heart, and i plan to carry it with me for the rest of my life. =D what what!?!~
thank you to all the beacon peoples for making me feel welcome and part of the group. it was such a blessing to meet some of you and get to know everyone better. i can't wait for the future.
so on the school front. i got 20 units. Prof Ninh let me into her As Am 122 class!!! ahhhh, can you say i'm graduating this spring. i am ecstatic. i can't say how happy i am. i danced around in joy in my shower last night. lol. =D
God heard my cry, and delivered me. it's crazyyy! crazy awesome. =]
Praise to God!!!
"But Ninevah has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?"
- God to Jonah - (Jonah 4:11)
-jt
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