~10 minutes

I'm giving myself a set amount of time to write out my thoughts. ~10 minutes

whatever is transcribed is staying...i'm not re-editing this post (other than spelling). no veto power if it comes out bananas.

• Jedi vs. Sith - there's two places you can come from when you grind out life. you can be motivated by the hate, the power, the evil in the world and no doubt, this is sick motivation. it will put you over so many other people who are just in the middle and refuse to do anything. and lets get it straight, there's a lot of people who fall into the middle. who simply let life pass them by. and i definitely have been in that category. so sith is powerful, but even more so are the jedi. and although we know that they get jacked, the Jedi/Rebellion eventually wins out and it's the because of who they are. 
• Harry vs. Voldemort - ok, i wont ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen/read the phenomenon known as harry potter, but basically they're two different wizards who are trying to get rid of the other. i'm not going to claim to be a expert at either, but i'm seeing a trend right here. harry is pure. voldemort is not. lolol. they fight and apparently Harry > Voldemort. but the thing is...it's because of where they were coming from...one was bent on ruling the wizard/entire/world domination - the other was simply fighting for survival and for his family, and for his friends. motivated by love.
• WELL...i think the reason i wanted to talk about these two analogies is that both the Jedi and HP weren't the ones who desired anything other than peace. they wanted love. they wanted to be left the efff alone. and what happens when the jerk kid on the playground isn't happy with one toy, but wants two? well someone is losing in that equation and it's the person who wants peace.  however, it's never enough. the desire for power gets you only so far, but leaves you short. the hate and anger that is at the heart of this only lasts so long. it's too long and cold of a road to make it.  and you trade in everything that have in exchange for it. you have a limited amount of life. and that's yours to decide what to do with.
• all in all. i wanted to just talk about life and grinding it out. i think this past year i've been motivated mostly by spite and hate and judgement and other things this year. mostly just figuring out life and whateverrr but the point of this was simply to say that life is short. death is the ultimate equalizer, we're all headed there at some point. and that choosing what motivates you everyday is what you're ultimately giving your life to.
• is the motivation hate
• or is the motivation love.

is the motivation yourself.

or is the motivation others.

is the motivation yourself.

or is the motivation Christ.

and at the heart of this...is just what i've been going through and life isn't easy. and i'm not perfect. and i'm learning all the time.

i have to make this moment count. so i'm going to make tomorrow count.

i'm going to make right now count.

and i'm going to make my life count.

it's going to be something. and i'm not (time ran out here...but i'll finish my thought) going to let it just pass me by. i'm going to put myself out there and not be afraid to fall because i'm going to keep getting back up and keep going and keep grinding and it's cuz i started to realize that i could care less what everyone else thinks, i'm not stopping.