why i couldn't blog...

i think that a blog has to come from inspiration, and i guess i'm treating it more of a memo rather than an online blog about my life and so that doesn't really equate to much.

my life is and has been sloping downwards over the past half year or so. i have been struggling. and i didn't know that i was struggling. that's not usually a good combination.

i think that after quitting my job, i felt that i was going to be super happy just playing poker and studying for school while taking care of friends, family, and of course my walk (epic as well).

little did i know that my entire life would start to plummet like a rock sinking to the bottom of a lake. i guess i just didn't see it coming, but it was definitely a long time coming. the start of it was the soul crushing ability of my job. and i don't think it was necessarily the idea of work, but what i was doing. i felt that my time could be put to better use other places. i would talk to people who do plenty of different things from engineers, to pastors, to deans, to admissions board members, to maids, to gardeners, etc... and i realized that i didn't want to do what i was doing for much longer.

counting money isn't too hard, although i was off balance a couple times. i did pretty well overall and i managed to sell the most every month. the one thing that i have to say is that it was as good experience and i will never again work in a bank if i don't have to.

i can't believe i'm where i am now. apparently you need a 3.0 to get into talbot. or even be considered. it's 2.5 for master's and that's where i'm at now. so i guess we'll see what happens in the next year and what plans are in store for me.

first thing is that i'm going to play less poker now and focus on God, my weight, and my school work. also i probably need somewhere around 20k for a car. bleh. maybe i should buy stock. -_- riiight.