i went fly fishing today with my cousin Glen.

it was fun. i learned a lot. i had a good time. i recommend fly fishing to all my friends.

i love life.

*a report by justin tanaka*

over the past month, i've been given a precarious luxury that not many in my age group can afford at the moment.

time to think

&to be honest, the first part of this unemployment phase has been more of a picking up pieces of life and making sense of the situation i'm faced with...unemployment.

thoughts initially provoked came through self interrogation centered on the ideas of uncertainty, of doubt, and of failure.

however, at the forefront of my mind, cropped one idea: dissatisfaction with my life.

how do i go about solving this question...?

i believe the answer is simple in form:

it's time for a change

the questions that many people ask themselves when faced with their future tend to be one dimensional, however "practical" they may appear to be. in essence it's because they're only questions that scratch at carving out an existence, being happy, and weighing the options of difficulty and reward.

carving out an existence is something that i'm called to do- work. however i've been given more than i care to admit and know that if i do not make the most of what i've been given, i will have lost mass amounts of unrealized potential. the worst.

&being happy doesn't really mean much as happiness is a state of mind and emotion that seems to be ideal, but i appeal to the idea that "ignorance is bliss" and that appeasement of life is...to put it bluntly- missing the point.

difficulty and reward strike the ground into what may come of the American idea of a secure life. i could punt away more years of my life in search of a fine paying salary and security within the projected job market, but if there's anything i know, it's that nothing is guaranteed within the economy, let alone life.

i'm thinking about so many different options. i'm contemplating which ones are possible and which ones aren't and at times this may seem a bit overwhelming, but if i've learned a thing or two from Grant, it's that "it's good to have options" and there's nothing that i don't love about that.

but the questions i pestered myself with: "what am i good at, what makes me happy, what can i do best, what job do i want, how much monies will i need, and how is this all to be acquired?" were good, but elementary questions. even practical and wise to some degree. they were good to think about and flesh out... as it caused me to think...but i was omitting the very question that was crucial to coming about any change:

JT..."who" do you want to become and why?

you've been given a mind.
you've been given a heart.
you've been given a body.

and in what capacity will this body, will this mind, and will this heart be put to work in this world that most demonstrates the life that God has given me. a restored one. a born again one.

and i think if i answer this, no further questions are needed. worrying about what may or may not happen only generates unnecessary worry. and we're called not to worry.

i am starting to get on board with the idea that the details of life will take care of themselves. i only need to worry about waking up each and every day with the main point in mind that i will steward rightly the life that God has entrusted to me. to make the best of the plot that i've been given.

the opportunity and potential before me is a sick gift. i have nothing tying me down at the moment and the options are essentially limitless.

please pray with me that i don't squander it

1. heart&soul-

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 

(1 Samuel 16:7 ESV)

i read this verse...and all i'm saying is that we should be honest and upfront towards one another in a loving, caring, & humble manner.
literally...it's about meeting people where they are, and just loving them -like Christ-
we're all sinners -dead- all we can do is help each other see the love, grace, truth, and hope offered at the Cross -born again-
let's lay it all out on the table, let's be objective, let's be honest, let's look at all the facts, let's see what the Word says and let's let you decide what to do with it. no one will to sway or force you to a decision. it's gonna be between you and God. your move.


a note: i wrote out and edited something that took me over 10 days to go up and down about, which my entire 2011 year taught me, only to scrap it all and keep this one verse and point from it.


i'll leave you with this:

God knows my heart better than anyone else. 
He knows my motivation for everything.
& He is the only one who sees me...who matters


here's to 2011, thanks.
here's to 2012, welcome.


"what we do in life, echoes in eternity" - Gladiator

a new year.
it's interesting, isn't it? a new year's resolution is an idea that functions as a goal for one to endeavor upon accomplishing during the upcoming year. a goal, which one's mental analysis has formally declared as the certain course of action.


for myself, i've kept a healthy appetite for starting things and then never coming about a conclusion. that's why i changed my blog name to "more starts than finishes" because quite literally, it's a lame feature of mine. this isn't something i enamor about myself as with almost any task (including this blog), i am dragged away by lack of focus, laziness, and/or boredom and thus find other new mini-endeavors to dabble upon. 


this constant fascination with "the next thing or the latest & greatest" has lead to me becoming a more well rounded cripple. if there is such a thing as a Jack of all trades i'm along the lines of a solid 7 of all trades ... and that's not out of 10, that's with the Ace as the highest.


so onto my resolutions...


but first, a thought on 2011- 
i loved it.


ok, moving along...


3 goals that are to be continuously refined until i die. (part 1 of 2)


3. body-


to be done by getting up every day, motivated to live a life dedicated to keeping my health in the highest regard. 
health is interesting...when it's there, people tend to not care about it. however when it is lost or degrading, it's value is priceless. perspective goes a long way in such a short amount of time.  

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20   

2. mind- 

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

give Ray Kim credit for this one. he is both a scholar and a gentlemen who encompasses a very keen understanding of life as well as possessive command of the english language.  the story goes as such: ray says, " Well, I've been given a brain by God, why not put it to good use? what a waste that would be."

and i thought, by the beard of Zeus, HE'S GOT IT! 

ok, no- i thought more...yeah, he's right, i should start doing a little more expansion of my mind other than in words with friends. the fact was that he wasn't even talking about me, but merely made this comment in response to my surprise that he loves to study, which is in its own right...a good habit to form in life.

to be done by reading and never closing off an open mind. i don't want to lose a great thing that i've been given, because when my brain shuts off, that is when my life will begin to end.

...and the no. 1 thing is coming up next...