i feel pretty dejected at the moment....BUT i have absolutely no regrets at this point. i just don't.
this might have been the most unnerving thing i've ever done. i nearly backed out of it twice trying to approach her. like i turned to go the other wayyy...but then turned back because this was it. i needed to do this. not just for you guys, but for me. it was unfortunate i had to be all creeper with it...as class ended and we were in different lines and i kinda waited for her to turn her paper in as i did. and then i kinda like followed her out of the door and just called out to her. it was so bad since it was a now or never moment. i hate my timing/awkwardness. i wish i was so much better at being all like "whasssup girrrl?" (but that's not me) i didn't really deliver well, and to be honest, it was like hanging a pitch to Pujols, that ish is gonna get smizzzashhhed. i'm thinking in that moment, i might be the most awkward person in this universe. if i were a laker, i'd be luke walton. just to boo myself right nowww. =[
unless something changes, this will probably be the last post i write about the whole "Jamie" ordeal...read till the end...
Timeline
5-6:00am Thursday Morning
i stayed up all night writing my paper for this ES 3 class. It was supposed to be 6-8 pages. i got to six. barely. i thought about being super sheisty with the whole period resizing trick, but it would have made it too obvious. i refuse to use times new roman nowadays and usually i just utilize standard 1.25 inch margins. i still barely made that six. ES = lame.
1:00am-4:00am Thursday Morning
i procrastinated the whole night. I talked to jared and mike on aim/video chat. both were great talks though. hahaha. i miss doing this stuff in person.
7:00pm Wednesday Night
i went to EPIC for the last time. and that was pretty emo. the senior core team shared about what they've learned and nicky's hit me deep. another moment where i've been blessed by God's grace and sovereignty in another's life. she talked about just sharing the gospel. getting out there and sharing. i dont think many people hit the nail on the head as well as she did because i mean, Christ gave us that speech rolling into heaven. the thing that got me was when she mentioned how she heard the gospel through russ and i. i just hadn't thought about it in actually a while.
3:00pm Wednesday Afternoon
i went to Japan 165 and we had a guest speaker. his name is Kohara, Katsuhiro from JAPAN. our teacher, fruhstuck, this german lesbian liberal teacher who's super easy for an A, was introducing him. and she starts talking about where he's from and what he's been doing. my jaw dropped. He's a philosophy major. He's a professor in systematic theology and comparative relgious studies at Doshisha University (Kyoto, Japan). He's a Christian. WHAAA!?!?!?! i can't believe this happended. i was SOO excited to talk to him after class. so i was able to exchange a few words with him after and i got his card. i'm going to email him so i hope i can get some dinner and talk about Japan/Christianity and just mission in Japan. what a divine appointment! i haven't been to 165 in a while so the fact i came on the day he lectures was AWESOME.
2:00pm Wedsnday Afternoon
i'm eating subway and i see this asian guy who looks pretty lonely on his mac at a nearby table. he was in line getting subway behind me. anyways, i was praying before my meal and all of a sudden i just start crying. pretty much, i was just thinking about how God is just so good. and i think i like to look at the people in the arbor or wherever i'm at and just i think about how there are so many people who haven't heard the gospel message. Nooo. the worst. so i'm like after i finish this delish sammy, i'm going to go say what's up to this guy. i roll up and tbh he's kinda messy eater. working on a meatball with sauce all over his cheeks to which i dont know how he got it there. anyways. i introduce myself and ask to sit down. he looks at me and then back at his computer and says ok...(awkwardly btw) i'm like so what's your major year etc trying to make small talk. he tells me he's a graduate student in computer science. there's a small lull, and then i interject with the whole reason i wanted to talk to him. i was just sitting and thought it'd be cool to share my faith with someone. he straight up shut me down here and said "not interested" while looking at his computer. i'm just like. oh man, lameee. so i left the guy alone, but i'm definitely going to pray for him. The guy's name was John.
the thing i was happy about though, was that i initiated the contact and despite it not really ever taking flight, i'm glad i just followed through on it. This wasn't too hard and that was my faith. the thing i thought was hardest to share (i figured talking to Jamie tomorrow morning would be easy)
this morning of (Thursday), i had a nightmare there was an earthquake where i got buried underneath the rubble. it was super scary. i did the whole sit up in bed after it. and tbh, it felt like my house was shaking still. ahhhh, so frightening.
so i'm like, " are you gonna watch the laker game tonight?"
she's like," yeah for sure...gotta watch it"
and i'm like, well me and a few friends are going to be at gio's for some pitchers and the game if you wanted to roll through.
she did the whole knod the head nonchalantly and was like "yeah for sure. i might roll through then."
i then decided to pull the trigger for the number.
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pause
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she says..."yeah for sure. lemme give you that. [[gives me her number]]"
"aiite ill give you a call then. lates"
BANG!
seriously though, ONE TIME FTW.
Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back. That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige"." - Cutter
hahaha nice...thanks for sharing. I especially liked your 2pm wednesday afternoon timeline. it's good to see people willing to risk being shut down to share the gospel. have fun tonight :)