harvesting for that, which i haven't labored...

Back from Mt Hermon yet again--

and this year, was no exception to the rule that every cabin is always unique. There is no rubric, which fits the bill for any one cabin. for myself, i've had 3 unique years with each year being more and more challenging.

I had 8 special guys this week. Not one of them was the same. if i could put it any way, it'd be that they came from all different parts of life and spiritual maturity. It was seemingly difficult in the beginning because i was curious as to how i was going to be able to minister effectively to all of them. Then i was awakened to the fact that i'm not going to be doing anything this week. The real motivator foranything was God. All i had to do was be faithful to his calling.

In years past, i've always had an affiliation to prepare a lot for cabin times. I would usually write out what the main idea would be for that night ahead of time with scripture for foundation. i also made sure i had thoroughly thought out questions that would do well to probe deeper within the student's hearts. much to my dismay, i was very concerned with me, and not trusting of God. Still God was gracious both to me and the students over those years.

I was about to fall into the same routine, when i felt God gently tug at my heart saying to let go. If i could relate it to anything, it's gotta be the scene when luke is making the trench run on the death star in A New Hope and Obi-Wan tells him to "Let Go, Luke." Anyways, i can say that i learned to let go and let God take over. Literally facilitating the discussions and prayer, i didn't have to do anything. God did a great work this week.

I also wanted to give some praise to my sister cabin leader, Tina Chen [ who is pictured above ]. I knew going in that we wouldn't have any problems and pretty much it was going to be a great time ministering to the kids. i couldn't have been any more right. She was loving, supportive and affirming in my leadership. She encouraged me plenty. if i could say anything, it's that i gained further insight into what it means to be a Woman of God. She played what i guess you would call, her role to the T. it was the biggest blessing to serve and learn with her. God was VERY gracious to me.

[continuing on with my cabin...]

i needed God's grace this week as i felt very off in the beginning. I prayed that God would give me a heart to love these guys and meet them wherever they were at. HE definitely answered my prayer on wednesday. but then, just as quickly as i had received the heart to love, it instantly broke for them.

for some of my guys...it was hard for them to conceptualize what i was trying to say and for them to possess the right heart to understand. i was trying to give them insight into the future senior year and what decisions lied ahead...but some just didn't care enough. &I understand what it's like to be in that position. it's harddd. and tbh...

i'm feeling a little more old, but i wanted to share about the new viewpoint on life i've gained while leading this past week. I finally saw what my parents view point is...a little bit at least...and what they must have gone through with me. [especially in high school]

with my parents...back in HS...i was super bratty and obstinate. i didn't possess humility to understand what they wanted to show me. I don't know how much grace was bestowed upon me during that time, but it must have been a lot.

I wanted to love on my guys in the right way while wanting what's best for them, and warn them about what's around the bend in life (in general). I saw them as my own kids and I wanted them to have some of wisdom and understanding that i didn't have in high school. i saw some were still complacent with their state of affairs in sin. [midweek] &this was heartbreaking. i wanted them to see what needed to be done, that their sin needed to be loathed and hated, to know that a life with Christ is not a life of bondage, but of freedom. but with anything... it's always going to be in God's timing.

i realized that this is how God must feel with us [and how it was layed out in the Bible for Israel. how they would harden their hearts and refuse to turn away.] it's just the worsttt. yet God loves us to pursue us, even as we rebel and run. all so that He receives more glory. glory and honor and praise that is due to God.

i prayed desperately for God to change their hearts to His own. and he did this...even if it did come at the last minute for some. it was awesome and amazing to see... i was completely drained of emotional, spiritual, and physical energy by the end of the week, but all praise and glory be to God for getting me through the week and allowing His gospel message to be used for the changing of hearts back to Him.

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. - C.S. Lewis

God's simply gracious and loving.

i was blown away at how faithful God is. i completely ran on E the whole week as He just did whatever was necessary and got everything done! =) Praise to Him.

shout out to mike yamada - your video blog was utter fail.

but you did a great job cabin leading :D