i just wanna be, i just wanna be successful...

I'm going to dedicate this post to Russ.






















i'm sitting in the library trying to pound out this last paper, but i'm going to fall short. jamie has her bday dinner in an hour so i need to be home to get ready for that and then it's probably the last time i'll ever go dt. the paper, i need to finish by tomorrow.
:sigh:
over the few moments i've spent in this place, which most people have called home for their past 4 years, i've grown accustomed to it. i could've ended up being in that bunch, attained a MUCH higher GPA and probably graduated as a shoe in to a grad school. instead, i chose the opposite route, and i did what i needed to do just to get by.

who is happier at the end of the time. hard to say. to each his own.
but i will say that i secretly enjoy this library. there's something special about it. something about the people who have driven their eyes blind while reading in here. those who have spent hours honing their skills to their betterment. it's something to be respected for.

i think over time, i never really cared much for what people thought about me or what i did. i adopted a sorry, apathetic attitude. it was something coined by peter la fleur in dodgeball:

I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.

that's pretty terrible that i adopted that ideal from that movie. but oh, is that movie good. definitely a top 3 in my book. the replay value is key.

anyways, the point of this is that i dont want to go home tonight. i just want to bury myself here and finish this paper off. i somehow understand maybe 0.0001% of why Russ was always here. the 7th floor. in the book area. instead of assume what motivated him to bury himself among his studies, i'll just leave it be. i'm sure he must've had a legit reason to study so much, and i'm probably never going to know what motivated him or why. i'll just let it be and respect the kid for it.

one of the things i wanted to share about was enjoying the moment. i think you prepare for moments in life, but really, you have no idea what it's going to feel like until it is already in motion. by the time the point arrives, it's going to be done. and then that's that. so many big things: graduation. wedding. kids.

which brings me to another thought.

what is heaven going to be like then? when i finally get to kick it face to face with my savior. that's going to be the best moment ever, cuz it won't end. i'll just be like :O the whole time.

so much awesome.

anyways...i'm slowly understanding about taking in the moment at present and to enjoy it for what it is.

congrats to russ for being so studious. you managed to make thomas edison look like a slacker. i love you buddy.

there is no substitute for hard work - Thomas Edison

this is what russ and i would put out for music.

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