i was browsing through my old xanga today and i came across some funny gems. i guess i used to post AIM conversations quite a bit.

Things I noticed...

tbh, i was a completely worthless son and disrespected my parents wayyy too much. i see how terrible i made it for them during hs. if i could time travel to talk to myself back in the day. i would tell myself to shut up and grow up. :sigh:

i played too much poker paintball and video games.

i was a very proud and ignorant christian (still learning).

i also realize how much i loved to talk about girls and ladies. hahahaha, nothing has changed there.

i was pretty immature and thought i wasn't. honestly, i was just a whole bunch of fail. on the real.

oh well, i'm learning.

please enjoy these...

best jersey: the one above (kobe ftw)

best post: this is probably the best post i did, most likely.

best lesson: #2 hs lesson
dont make a person your priority when you're just an option

Monday, April 05, 2004

HaNdiCaPpEdxBoi: haha did russ show you the pic of his date? faithfulxservant: yea faithfulxservant: i've seen her already HaNdiCaPpEdxBoi: do you think she is cute? faithfulxservant: she's aiite HaNdiCaPpEdxBoi: russ made her sound like she was kristen kreuk hot HaNdiCaPpEdxBoi: so i got pretty happy for him...and i saw the pic HaNdiCaPpEdxBoi: and i was pretty dam disappointed HaNdiCaPpEdxBoi: i was like...o wth....she isnt that hot russ.....he ruined it for me faithfulxservant: AHAHHAHAHHAH @mexicali RuSS/MaTT...tu madre: well...this was seriously awsome...just watching these two bros go back and forth about each others mother...but i think we all know that russ won the battle...but lost the war, cuz he got thrown into the spit pit, which is a pit filled with our toothpaste crud and other random sick stuf...it's nasty.... So we laughed our heads off...especailly at the park, me and jc were having a lot of fun spectating matt and russ. it was pretty sweet...haha...here's a little sample of what was russ' last words b4 going into the spit pit... Matt: " i think i'll be the bigger man and just stop talking. " Russ: " i think i AM the BIGGER man. " woo! aiite..nuff of that... @basketball sophmoreyear july 16, 2004 ok so adrian was watchin his lil niece run around after our b-ball game and he's like...COME HERE! and then she looks at the street...then looks at him...and starts to run for the street...he grabs her....and starts to say this: " ok...ur gonna run into the street and get hit, and then ima have to Kill somebody..cuz if you get hurt, there's gonna be some reprecussions..." LOL o man, i love my black friends.. @mt. hermon jr. year july 10, 2004 Dear God, Hey! How are yah? It’s been quite a week, hasn’t it? Once again, it was a blessing to come back to your loving and caring arms. I feel so guilty and regret that I neglected all those chances to talk to you during this past year. My fault, just like it is always. Still, I find myself at a loss of words as I have grown to love and know you deeper. The coolest thing that I learned this week was about your love. How… it is a compelling love and the story of how you changed the life of Zacchaeus. How… it is a merciful love and how a sinner such as the woman came to be saved by you. How… it is acompassionate love and how in Hebrews it talks about how you can sympathize with us for you were once human as well. How… it is a sacrificial love and how you endured torture and died on the cross. How… it is an unfailing love, and one in which we are always connected to you. Well, even though you already know, the week was awesome to say the least. I hope you don’t mind if I run down the things that occurred, as well as my thoughts, feelings and 2 cents. So it all began the night before, while I was washing my car that I looked up at the night sky, which was filled with many stars. I realized kind of how small our planet was…in a “gi-normous” galaxy! This just kind of sat on my heart the whole way up to Mt. Hermon. So the next day was Sunday and we were there early, ready to leave. The only thing that kind of put me on edge was the fact that the bus driver didn’t know the way to the churches, and he didn’t say anything to me till we REALLY needed directions. I just felt you put some pressure on me, which I can see did me some good. So yeah, praise YOU for getting us to the churches and eventually up the road. I thank you for my two awesome parents who gave me maps to help out the driver. It’s just all in your plan… Then at camp, you kind of took me by surprise after I checked in and found out my cabin was a group of first timers minus me and Aaron (who was in my cabin last year) that’s just all the more sweet. Anyways, Lord, the part that really took me from right under me, was the “sister cabin”. … I was hyped-out/speechless/crazy/calm about it all… It was a good cabin, but the unreal fact that I had the ONLY junior/sophomore cabin with the one girl that I never thought would be in it… (We’ll leave that name out to protect the innocent) Through the rest of the week, I began to realize that you do work in mysterious ways, in ways that I don’t really understand or comprehend at first glance but after meticulous study….I see your plan and Providence. I still don’t understand it all, but I do grasp the situation better while thinking about it. So about me and this friend, we had a little relational drama…and somewhere along our lives’ path, got disconnected. A lot of things, such as confusion and hurt could’ve been prevented if we only kept talking. Still, gossip kind of killed it and drove a dagger in deeper. So during this week, you just kept healing it up. A lot of damage was done, but through you, I believe it can now start to heal. There could be a scar, but just remembrance of what once happened. Still continuing with the week, you were just … so present everywhere. There was no where,--no where~ that I couldn’t feel your love surrounding me. It was pretty awesome possum! =) I had an awesome time with my cabin. Thank you Lord, for just placing in my heart, a better attitude towards you, life, school, my cabin, and cabin leader. Last year I had a bad attitude and that just lead towards a bad week. You gave me exactly what I needed… I still don’t believe how perfect it came out. Our whole cabin just molded like clay and our finished product was a beautiful jar, just waiting to be broken again by your hand. I felt that we shared and got so much out of our cabin times. I praise You for the seriousness and just how much our cabin had love for you and your word. ALL PRAISE TO YOUR NAME FATHER. My personal favorite this week was the prayer meetings. By your unfailing grace and mercy, I was somehow sustained and was given enough energy to get up and go to them early in the morning. It was there, every morning that my heart was prepared to worship your name. Lord, I was thinking about just your providence and plan for all of us. I praise you that you used Jared, Koh, Kiyoshi, Daniel, Kenny, Courtney, Steph, and even me… just to praise your name. Praise you, Father, for T…he was so awesome. I really got to understand him better just through the prayer groups. My cabin was something to be said for, Lord. You put people into my life, just how I needed it. Compassionate and loving are words to be said…at least. They’re a bunch of guys that love your name, and want to praise it. Lord, I just learned so much from them and their way of life. Thank you for providing me with just such an abundant amount of love for them. They always had something insightful to say or something funny to do. Whether from Jake’s crazy haircut, or just Uber Sexy Paul… It was awesome. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for my cabin leader, Chris Wu. Heh, though it is hard to see through the fog, in the distance we see your light, guiding us home. We don’t know where it’ll take us, but we know that if we follow the light, it’ll all turn out fine in the end. Your unknown plan, your endless wisdom…all of it is constantly in motion. Your servant, Chris, has just done so much to help heal my wounds. Lord, I thank you for sending him to help me, and just when I needed counsel and help the most. Lord, your plan has never failed, and it will never fail. I find myself at a loss of words as I see how you used him to talk and give me advice. It was YOU who set him before me, when I felt lost, alone…and afraid. Lord thank you for him. Lord, my life alone is nothing and my debt that I owe is an insurmountable amount, that I could….never … never attain. Lord, I recall my past mistakes, and I ask you that you forgive me. I am a sinner, and I’m not perfect, yet you are. It feels so good to talk with you Lord. I feel comforted, and not afraid. I’m able to come to the cross and lay my shame, burden and loss at the foot of it. Lord, I thank you for Stephen, Lord; I know that you have big plans for him as you just have shown me just how great a person he is. I write this prayer to you Lord, in tears for the blessing he’s been to me. I am choked up inside as he has just been what a best friend is. He’s been there for me when I needed someone to talk to. Lord, he prayed for me when no one would. He never talks on me, he’s always supportive and I can always count on him for a good laugh. Lord, thank you for awesome brothers like him. Lord, I feel I am sometimes jealous of just who he is. Thought he is younger, he is mature. Maybe not in some ways, but I feel he is strong in you. Please keep him safe, and bless his life. I cry out to you, for your patience, mercy, and grace. I pray that I might keep myself pure until marriage. That I wouldn’t be persuaded by temptation, but that I would stand firm in that which I believe. I pray that you would give me patience for I know I will need it when it comes to girls. Lord, I give this to you, as it is one of my weaknesses. I need to hold back, and Lord, I pray for strength to hold back. Lord, not of my own strength, but your own…for I realize and know…and can testify to, we have no strength other than what is you. Lord, I pray that I might be a brother, and not a lover to anyone, that I would not fall into temptation, but that I would be an example. Lord, I pray that I do not lose sight of you. Keep me accountable, Lord. I pray that if there is someone for me, that you would keep her away until that time, because I know for a fact I am not ready. I am so immature and so helpless…Lord that I need more of you. I pray that as I do grow up, that I would grow up spiritually, and not be an infant. That I would be growing constantly, and be concerned with you’re good and perfect will. I pray that I develop a hunger and thirst that is never satisfied. Lord I pray that I wouldn’t concern myself with who I’ll have as my wife, or if I I’ll even have one. Lord, but I pray that you would have me focus on myself and that I would shape, by your careful hand, into a Man of God. Lord just like my leaders, the ones I look up to… J, Drew, T, Taka, and Craig…Lord and everyone else…They’re such inspirations to me. Lord, it was you who planned this whole week, just how it all came out, I still can’t believe it, how you worked in people’s lives. The fact that we had so many come to know you as their personal Lord and Savior, that they know they will be in the Lamb’s book of life; that you’re their “everything” and their reason for Life…Praise Your Name. Lord, as I come to know you, I see that you work so mysteriously, and without even notice. Do people even thank you when you’ve healed/changed their life? I sure hope they do. Lord, Thank you for this week, my life, and your Love. In Your name I pray, Amen @wanting my RSX Sunday, December 19, 2004 Four Cars... i need a choice soon... HELP ME PLEASE!!! i want a mix of speed, sporty, and some cargo room...the wrx can't be a wagon, there is no mini under the "other" category. Any other help is welcomed. 1. acura rsx type-s 2. subie wrx 3. mazda 3 4. scion tC i can't believe i got it 6 years laterrrr. @girltalk... my girls section: i got one of the most memorable quotes said to me, and i swear i'll never forget the way it hit me. i wont tell who said it, but most people dont know her anyways. but yeah...we were talking about all these different girls that are cute, or good looking or who have a great personality, but they still lack one key element, whether it be personality, humor, religion...etc. And them i was talking about this one girl (decently cute, but buddhist) and how cool it would be to just go hang out and actually try to get to know her and it'd be downhill from there, and (wise girl) says this " Don't settle for less." (cause she knows about my strict religious choosing) and i thought about it...and she's so right. why should anyone, especially the person i love the most (me) settle for anything less than the best. i mean, God wants the best for me, so do I !!! so i applied it to different situations and realized, yeah, i'm never gonna settle for what's there, second best, or whatever else. It's like, why settle for a kia when you can get a porsche. Dont settle for the temporary pleasure, when you get an eternal treasure @finally meeting michelle baik. this is mainly for tina, enjoy making fun of me. hahaha. Tuesday, March 15, 2005 this is how it went, i was sitting down with amanda and kev talking about some nonsense i think, and then i'm watchin as kids pull up and get dropped off, and i'm just searching through the faces and i see this one girl in a UCLA (? ucsd or uci ... not sure ) anyways, a college embroided sweatshirt, and i was like OMG she looks so familliar and then i was like. :gasp: . NO WAY! it's michelle baiK! the girl who i've been trying to meet in person for like the past three years of my life, going to OA choir shows, and everything. and somehow, i finally see her! so what do i do...absolutely nothing. =\ yah, that's typical jtizzle for you.. haha, so i was like, :sigh: i'll just wait for God to make it completely obivious that i should go up and talk to her. so i like i miss this chance, and i'm like regretting it during the testing period...the whole time. but wait. during our breaks Olivia comes out and talks to me and she's like, Did you know michelle is here. and i'm thinking in my head: " yes, i knew that from the beginning " and then she's like, go talk to her! and i'm like " what have i been doing with the last 3 years of my life ? " anyways, i'm like, yah i'll go and talk to her after ( if God somehow makes her walk right in front of me, that was like the only way i'd go for it. ) so anyways, i finish up the tests, which was super long. and boring, and a lot of other classes got let out and i figured she'd be gone by the time i got out there, so i just go out of my class kinda sad that i missed another chance...and it was my fault. but wait! she walks RIGHT in front of me, and i'm like, Wow, God, ur really good at this stuff. so i run up and ask her if she knows who i am...and then we kinda talked for a little bit, or whatevers before she left. but finally meeting someone you've been waiting to meet for like all of hs...is quite something. I think it's also cuz i hyped it up so much, but i was like. wow. i finally met her. Praise God.

i feel pretty dejected at the moment....BUT i have absolutely no regrets at this point. i just don't.

this might have been the most unnerving thing i've ever done. i nearly backed out of it twice trying to approach her. like i turned to go the other wayyy...but then turned back because this was it. i needed to do this. not just for you guys, but for me. it was unfortunate i had to be all creeper with it...as class ended and we were in different lines and i kinda waited for her to turn her paper in as i did. and then i kinda like followed her out of the door and just called out to her. it was so bad since it was a now or never moment. i hate my timing/awkwardness. i wish i was so much better at being all like "whasssup girrrl?" (but that's not me) i didn't really deliver well, and to be honest, it was like hanging a pitch to Pujols, that ish is gonna get smizzzashhhed. i'm thinking in that moment, i might be the most awkward person in this universe. if i were a laker, i'd be luke walton. just to boo myself right nowww. =[

unless something changes, this will probably be the last post i write about the whole "Jamie" ordeal...read till the end...

Timeline
5-6:00am Thursday Morning
i stayed up all night writing my paper for this ES 3 class. It was supposed to be 6-8 pages. i got to six. barely. i thought about being super sheisty with the whole period resizing trick, but it would have made it too obvious. i refuse to use times new roman nowadays and usually i just utilize standard 1.25 inch margins. i still barely made that six. ES = lame.
1:00am-4:00am Thursday Morning
i procrastinated the whole night. I talked to jared and mike on aim/video chat. both were great talks though. hahaha. i miss doing this stuff in person.
7:00pm Wednesday Night
i went to EPIC for the last time. and that was pretty emo. the senior core team shared about what they've learned and nicky's hit me deep. another moment where i've been blessed by God's grace and sovereignty in another's life. she talked about just sharing the gospel. getting out there and sharing. i dont think many people hit the nail on the head as well as she did because i mean, Christ gave us that speech rolling into heaven. the thing that got me was when she mentioned how she heard the gospel through russ and i. i just hadn't thought about it in actually a while.
3:00pm Wednesday Afternoon
i went to Japan 165 and we had a guest speaker. his name is Kohara, Katsuhiro from JAPAN. our teacher, fruhstuck, this german lesbian liberal teacher who's super easy for an A, was introducing him. and she starts talking about where he's from and what he's been doing. my jaw dropped. He's a philosophy major. He's a professor in systematic theology and comparative relgious studies at Doshisha University (Kyoto, Japan). He's a Christian. WHAAA!?!?!?! i can't believe this happended. i was SOO excited to talk to him after class. so i was able to exchange a few words with him after and i got his card. i'm going to email him so i hope i can get some dinner and talk about Japan/Christianity and just mission in Japan. what a divine appointment! i haven't been to 165 in a while so the fact i came on the day he lectures was AWESOME.
2:00pm Wedsnday Afternoon
i'm eating subway and i see this asian guy who looks pretty lonely on his mac at a nearby table. he was in line getting subway behind me. anyways, i was praying before my meal and all of a sudden i just start crying. pretty much, i was just thinking about how God is just so good. and i think i like to look at the people in the arbor or wherever i'm at and just i think about how there are so many people who haven't heard the gospel message. Nooo. the worst. so i'm like after i finish this delish sammy, i'm going to go say what's up to this guy. i roll up and tbh he's kinda messy eater. working on a meatball with sauce all over his cheeks to which i dont know how he got it there. anyways. i introduce myself and ask to sit down. he looks at me and then back at his computer and says ok...(awkwardly btw) i'm like so what's your major year etc trying to make small talk. he tells me he's a graduate student in computer science. there's a small lull, and then i interject with the whole reason i wanted to talk to him. i was just sitting and thought it'd be cool to share my faith with someone. he straight up shut me down here and said "not interested" while looking at his computer. i'm just like. oh man, lameee. so i left the guy alone, but i'm definitely going to pray for him. The guy's name was John.
the thing i was happy about though, was that i initiated the contact and despite it not really ever taking flight, i'm glad i just followed through on it. This wasn't too hard and that was my faith. the thing i thought was hardest to share (i figured talking to Jamie tomorrow morning would be easy)

this morning of (Thursday), i had a nightmare there was an earthquake where i got buried underneath the rubble. it was super scary. i did the whole sit up in bed after it. and tbh, it felt like my house was shaking still. ahhhh, so frightening.

FLASH FORWARD:

so after i call out to her, i like catch up to her. she wasn't really slowing her pace, so i just walked with her for a little bit. i asked about what went down last weekend and she was just like. oh when did i see you? thursday or friday? lol. thursday. "oh yeah, well i just kicked it in IV last friday"... so then i was just like, whateverrr i'm just going to tell her about gios and get her number because i dont think this conversation has much potential.
so i'm like, " are you gonna watch the laker game tonight?"
she's like," yeah for sure...gotta watch it"
and i'm like, well me and a few friends are going to be at gio's for some pitchers and the game if you wanted to roll through.
she did the whole knod the head nonchalantly and was like "yeah for sure. i might roll through then."
i then decided to pull the trigger for the number.

"so can i get your number and i'll let you know when we're rolling out?"

:::::::::::::::

pause

:::::::::::::::

she says..."yeah for sure. lemme give you that. [[gives me her number]]"
"aiite ill give you a call then. lates"

BANG!
seriously though, ONE TIME FTW.

even if she doesn't roll through tonight at gio's or was just being nice... whateverrr. i still accomplished my goal.

here's my song i've been listening to for the past day. i found the punk goes pop album a couple days ago of saechang's blog for "apologize (cover)" i definitely am in love with this version. it's just upbeat and fun. kinda like what happens when i'm getting a numberrr. hollerrr.

Everyone knows, i'm in over my head...over my head. with 8 seconds left in overtime she's on your mind, she's on your mind...

Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back. That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige"." - Cutter

this was my prestige. i pulled through. i think everyone reading this wanted some type of closure to the situation and i didn't wanna end up like lost with most people semi-satisfied but mostly just confused why there was still enormous amounts of potential totally just left to rot.

Thank you everyone for reading this blog. it was kinda random, pretty ridiculous at times, but a great time all in all. i think i've been telling everyone i know about it, but i'm just excited that i finally did something legittt in getting a number and meeting a girl [within a week]. i'll give a recap and more stuff another time, but thanks again. this blog wouldn't be as awesome without your viewership. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FORMSPRING [that white box at the top of my blog top right column, its completely anonymous too, unless you type in your name for me to know] [or EMAIL] ME YOUR COMMENTS THOUGHTS OR WHATEVERRR. I WANNA HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.

as a great man named Taka once said, "LATRONS."

I don’t know what to tell everyone. I just fail. :facepalm:

I froze up. Just decided to not say anything. I saw her get up, so I got up and bolted to the door. I just ran away. I don’t know what went through my head. I thought if I went ahead, she’d see me and say hi, maybe. Hahaha, fail. I had a shot, and I didn’t take it. I didn’t think about how it’s going to now be impossible to have any communication with this girl.

I can just add her as a friend on facebook, but that’s kinda whack since then I can’t update this anymore. So I don’t think I’m going to do that. And I’m pretty much putting this whole shindig on hold. I think I’m just going to stop blogging about it and go back to life. Well, it was exciting and fun while it lasted. Sorry to disappoint.

If I could do it all over it again, I would will myself to be awkward again and say hi to her after class. Then bring up gio’s tonight. Then maybe the Angels game if things went well. But that’s now in hindsight.

Much like lost, there are so many unanswered questions still. But the thing that I realized is that…in the end, the gun doesn’t pull its trigger by itself. It’s gotta be the gunslinger.

Thanks for reading. It was quite the experience.

Take three minutes to watch this video. It not only is hilarious and amazing, it literally is analogous to what i have been thinking about the implications today.



i want to point out how awesome it was that kobe was in it, and he's not even playing in the world cup. :D

how crazy is it to think about what is and what could have been. it's pretty crazy.

i also found out an answer to one of my three questions.

She is single.

i'm writing this all in class atm. so i'll update after class. i got to class WAYY too late. like 15 minutes late. so i had to sit somewhere else because apparently everyone decided to show up today. anyways, i eventually found her. so i figure i'll hit her up after class.

but i'm thinking about another question. what happens when i find out if she's christian or not. pretty much it's a pull the plug type of situation.

the other thing i'm kinda eh about is that the angels game does seem a little strong. acutally it' not really that, it's just i thought of a better idea. i figured i'll see what she's up to tonight and see if she wants to go to gio's and watch the game over some pizza. and if that gets turned down, it's not like i was swinging for the fence, but i literally gave it my best shot. it's like passing up the open three on a breakaway for a wide open lane with a possible and 1. i gotta go with the best percentage shot since my outside game is so hit and miss. i pretty much am going for the tie, with an and 1 being ftw.

here i go. :D

"They're trying to goad me, trying to own me. But this isn't a gunfight. It's not about pride or ego. It's only about money. I can leave now, even with Grama and KGB... and halfway to paying Petrovsky back. That's the safe play. I told Worm you can't lose what you don't put in the middle. But you can't win much either." - Mike McDermott (Rounders)

well, today is the day where the rubber meets the road.

this is week 9. i have 2 more classes with her, tuesday (this morning) and thursday. after that, i might not ever see/talk to her ever again. so i'm basically going to just press this situation like i'm running hot at blackjack. and the whole situation runs on the premise that i had nothing invested, and nothing to lose at the start (except my pride). i've overcome my fear of putting myself out there already so i wanna take this (as reid would say) next level.

i'm going to ask her out on a date. (oh whattt??)

hahaha the crazy thing one of my friends was mentioning was that i dont have her number. now this is true, but i haven't even known her a week. am i supposed to have her number by now? maybe. but that isn't really stopping much at this point...i figure i ask her out and if she says no, i don't have to deal with having an awkward person to delete on my phone and vice versa. it was an interesting experience, well worth the story and it's just done. one more class to sit through and that's that.

however, i ask her out and she says yes, her number is then a byproduct (kinda like informercials with the whole "act now and you'll get her number as well") and i get to hang out with her this weekend. so if providence does take me this way...

This weekend is memorial day weekend and it just so happens that the Angels have a home stand this time of year. the date would be (ideally) an Angels game. the mariners are in town and each game would have a great matchup. friday night is kazmir vs lee with big bang fireworks after (awesome). saturday is weaver vs snell (this for sure should be a win and thus the best game to go to, also an afternoon game) and sunday afternoon (felix vs tbh). i'm thinking friday would be awesome with fireworks, but probably low scoring. so saturday is looking like the best overall time. i'm thinking i'm going to drive my accord, just to put my other test to theory.

i talked to k. dong, jd.guzman, and m. chen about this. k dong said go for it while the other two warned me to pull the plug. this is way too strong they say. M.chen: predicts that i have a 15% chance of it working (way low IMO). Jd.Guzman: predicts that i have less than 50% chance. i give myself a realistic 33% chance. however, in my mind, i'm 100% to succeed. it's kinda like i'm riding the rush, playing in the moment, and being myself all at the same time.

reason for the title:

when i was growing up going to Angels games, there used to be this guy who was the biggest Angel fan. super diehard guy who was older. his name was Frank. this dude was a boss who was decked out in OG Angel windbeakers to a hat covered in any possible celebration pin the organization has had. anyways, every time jim edmonds or tim salmon would come up to bat. he'd start yelling at them saying fireworks jimmy or fireworks timmy. for those that dont know, if a player hits a home run at The Big A, they shoot off fireworks. and pretty much, it wouldn't happen super often, but it was always awesome when it did. :D who knows what'll happen with this whole ordeal...but just like tim salmon getting behind in a count, i'm pulling the trigger on the next pitch.

Fireworks JT, fireworks!

LETS GO!!!

did she really blush? or was it just asian glow?

hahahaha, i'm pretty sure. but it was dark. but i'd like to just imagine it was her blushing :D


do you honestly think shes the one just kuz she likes the lakers and the angels? it's not that hard to find a girl like that. go to LA.

ohPLZ. i never said that she's the one. i dont know her at all. she's just someone i wanna get to know better.

ask more questions. i'm all about the Q & A

i'm going to make this short and sweet. this is part 3.

Greg and his homies are in town for the weekend and they wanted to go downtown. i was like, for sure, but i'm probably going to drive myself and just come home early. lol. before i left, i joked with grant about the fact of "What if i see Jamie down there?" what would that mean?" he responded with a simple, "dude, just marry her then. cuz it's going to be fate then. and that was that.

me and devin rode together into the night to downtown Santa Barbara. We park with everyone else and roll to Statement. we have a few drinks and run into friends (lowell and charlie). Then we head to madisons. this is definitely the place where i meet up with friends. it's kinda ridiculous tbh. I always see a few people i know and it's always a good time. FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, me and brian sung were able to kick it together. we randomly met up, and finally our plans went into action. SO thus was our first time at madisons. but that's not all sportsfans...

i'm getting back from my drink, and i see someone walking through the crowd...who is it? that's right. jamie. This is the most ridiculous thing everrrrr. i call out to her, and she gets all surprised. i was like, omg, i can't believe your here! and she replies with the same. now to preface this. i'm going to be honest with you all. i facebook stalked her. AHHH i said it. i feel so dirty saying it to be honest. but whateverrrr. love me, judge me, or hate me. your choice. so i knew (going into this night) that she knew my good friend Samuel Negatu. This guy is my homie for life. We grew up since preschool till 8th grade and tbh he's one of the few people in my life that i'll no doubt die for. I love this guy.
SO...guess what happens next. WHO ROLLS THROUGH? that's right. SAMMY. He rolls through and says what's up to me. and we do the whole ( love each other ) thing and then ((of course)) jamie is like, WAIIIT!!! how do you two know each other....!???? that's right jamie. this guy is my home boy. no doubt. so sam talks me up a little bit and then proceeds to say that if he had anyone lined up for jamie, it'd be me. (THANK YOU SAM) she blushes and is like nah nah... (great reaction) then he's like, i gotta bounce, (whispers in my ear) you do your thang playa. LOL.

so then i'm like, aiite. Jamie, i say, lemme buy you a drink. And she obliges. We get to the bar and it's crowded with people... but we're talking about the angels and the lakers. (whom she loves) and i'm like, this is ALL so awesome. and then she's like...lemme buy this round. (!?!?!??!) what the...? this is ridiculous, she now offers to buy the first round? no wayyy. so i inisist that i get the first round.and she lets me, thankfully. what does she order? a blue mooon~~~!!! yesss, one of my favorites no doubt. so we talk a little more and then she says she has to get back to her friends. and i to mine. so we split. but then she says, ok next round is on me with a smile on her face.

well, i hang out with my friends, but then i realize, what should my next play be? should i go back soon and ask for that second round? or should i wait and miss it, so that i can talk it up in class the next tuesday? i figure i should get my second round now, and i see her, but then i hesitate, and i ask my friends once again, what i should do. they give me the go i need to say hi, and i go for it. i make a quick lap around the bar, but she's no where to be found. OH NO!!! what am i going to do? it's all good though, it'll give me something to talk about in class, and then ask for my second round either in the form of a date, or next thursday.

So basically, i saw her, AGAIN and i got to talk to her, more. and i got hyped up a little. to be honest. it couldn't have ended up any better. The only thing to do now is to play the cards i'm dealt in the best way possible. :D i'm super super happy this all happened. yayyYY~~~!!!

if you have any thoughts or comments. hit me up on my email or formspring.

Night y'all.

(this is what i looked like today. hello!)

i'm thinking i'm going to extend this series of ptt as my interaction progresses with this girl until it ends. i might've sounded a bit too eager on the first post with the whole:
i'm going to ask her out when i meet her blah blah blah crap.
I think that was wayyy too ridiculous. i mean, i'm not casanova, and i'm definitely not even a grant mizuno. how the heck am i going to get this to work?

lets go over the basics.
there's three parts to any good story. a beginning, a climax, and the end.
the beginning is key. in fact, it could be said that the beginning is the most important part for the entire story because it's the foundation for which the rest is build upon.
This is the Introduction.

I got to class before her and there was this old dude sitting on the end row of where she sat about. i figured she would sit in the row ahead of him and so i figured i'd sit there and then maybe she'd sit next to me. WRONG. she excuses herself over the guy and sits in that row i passed on. AHHH. this is so much fail. but it just makes it harder for me...So she was sitting about 2 rows behind me this time and a little to my left. i'm like, ok so i basically have one option now if i'm going to introduce myself here. i just gotta go up to her after class. i basically almost psych myself out and freeze up. then i'm just like. NOPE, gotta go.

we watched some lame old film for H-bomb awareness from the 60's and what do to when it happens. hilarious. they'd "duck and cover" (like that would help). or they'd go into the shelter and wait 5 minutes after the bomb exploded, then come out. radiation fail. ahhahahaha

i had to wait 20 minutes during this film to the end of class and the whole time i'm thinking about what to say to this girl, and how to say it. she has an angel's backpack, so that's going to be my point of interest for the conversation (a la icebreaker). i had a couple topics on the backup if she held up and talked to me (such as lakers, socal etc), but i figured it probably wouldn't happen.

<<<<-----(looks exactly like this one)


the film ends, and i get up and turn around, and she's still on her computer. i get out to the aisle so other people in the middle can get out, and i walk toward the back. now i'm at her aisle and i'm like, oh man, do i just go sit next to her? what do i do?

whatevers, so i tell myself, just go for it, but to be honest, i'm SOO nervous at this point...
SO i go up next to her, sit a seat away and introduce myself. She says her name is jamie and smiles. (yessss! perfect so far.)
i'm like, "Wow, that's an awesome angels backpack you got there." (CUTE intro, right?)
and she's like, "Oh are you an angel's fan?" (yes i am, but i actually am using this backpack as my icebreaker in)
i'm like, "yeah for sure, there's not too many of us out here." (on the real, there isn't that many)
and she's like, "Seriously, We're not doing too well though." (omg, she knows we suck and isn't some 2002 fan still thinking we're awesome)
"Yeah, it's too bad Vlad is going crazy right now." (checking to see if she knows he's not with us anymore)
"Yeah, where's he at again...oh, Texas." ( This is key...it proves SHE ACTUALLY FOLLOWS)
This is where I'm like, ok, she's legittt. (at this point she packed and we're leaving out together.
I'm like, "So where are you from?" (step 2)
She's like, "Anaheim Hills." (yesss, she's in the area)
"oh really? i'm from Anaheim! i went to savanna!"
"oh really!? i went to Orange! how cool!"
"so what year are you?" (we're outside on the steps and i know she's going to go the other way, so i wanted to find out her age range so i'm not hitting on some first year freshie)
"I'm a third year, You?" (yessss again!!)
"I'm a fourth year." :smile:
"ready to get outta here?"
"oh yeah, fo sho."
"well it was nice meeting you...i'm going this way."
"nice meeting you too. laterrs"

SO overall i figured it went pretty well, i mean, i figured she wasn't going to just stop and have a conversation with me. i think the end result is somewhere in the middle. Small talk, with a base for the rest of the story to get built on. I figure if she's semi interested, she'll sit next to me next class. if not, then i can't keep chasing her? can i? i mean, i'm not desperate here, i'm just trying to get over the hurdle of crappy social awkwardness and get to know her.

the only questions that i have yet to ask and find answers are:
1) is she single?
2) is she Christian?
3) is she interested?

i'm very interested in what you all have to say (the small few who read my blog) if you have any ideas, advice, constructive criticism, or critique on how to make this a successful venture, please dont hesitate. i'm very excited to see what people say. just email me. justintanaka@gmail.com or formspring me (that white box on the right at the top) i'll reply in the next blog with your advice (or if you want to remain anonymous or not have it posted at all i'll respect those wishes)

btw. she's reeeeeeeeeeally cute. :D

hopefully the days remaining will answer some of these questions...if not all. stay tuned. :D

shawty's like a melody...

much like a lazer gun. Pew Pew.

I have been thinking about this post for a while and I decided to finally go about it.
there are so many things that we as humans have to do. But one of those things that are most important are done through a process known as initiation. In other words…we utilize our free will and put our hand to the plow or for a more colloquial term, we pull the trigger. This can be with anything…church, friends, relationships. I wanted to post on all three, but I figured I’d post on the thing that would give the most entertainment value per person (matt sawasaki). Thus we’re going to go into the world of relationships. I’m not intending for this to be a piece of pre-meditated mumbo jumbo, but rather an active ongoing thought that is manifested in a real life experiment. I do not claim to be a reliable source of information. In fact, this is all more just for laughs. I doubt any of what is to follow will make much sense.

I think for me, the hardest thing might be just initiating simple conversation with the opposite sex. I honestly get nervous and I want to just shoot myself because I’m all knotted up inside when I make the first move. I just let all my inhibitions and insecurities take over my thought process. Things that are minor in my confidence list become magnified and make the process ridiculously hard. They instantly become chinks in my armor as I have to put myself out on a limb for a quick second just to make conversation. It makes sense to me that most young, singles go to bars looking to meet their next relationship. They would probably prefer the use of courage juice (alcohol). However, I wanted to post on something that will inevitably be somewhat relevant to readers alike while not utilizing said courage juice.

When I was in Hawaii 09’, we jumped off numerous things into the water below only to possibly injure ourselves or worse, die. It was a testing ground of what we were made of. Thankfully, no one died or was seriously injured. But looking out from on top of those rocks made me think twice. Do I really want to do this? But that’s when I was just like…I gotta just push myself off this rock and go for it. so that’s what I did, and it always ended up going well for me.

This is the problem. There’s a mental block that prohibits us from being who we really are when the time comes. So this is the problem I would say most of us suffer from when it comes to meeting people of the opposite sex. Or maybe its just me.

So how do I overcome this mental hurdle? I’m just going to look at the end result and go for it. This next part is going to sound pretty heeby, and I actually don’t care. Lol. So I’m in my env s 3 class and there’s this asian girl who’s like 3 rows in front of me. This was last Thursday, a week ago. And I’m like. OMG. SHE’S ON ESPN! That’s awesome. Not only that, she’s looking at the NBA playoffs. OMG 100x more awesome. And then she goes to STUMBLE UPON! I’m thinking, wow, that’s so cool. I hope to one day be with a girl like that. I figured, well, that’s another thing to add to the list and I probably won’t talk to her. Then we get up to leave in class, and she’s rocking an ANGELS backpack. What the!? My favorite baseball team since the beginning of time? Where I grew up going to games when we were possibly the worst team (lol California Angels). So this was enough to spark my interest. But then she puts her foot up to tie her shoe, and waittt…what is she rocking? That’s righttt a sick pair of NIKE Blazerrrs. Wow. And to top it all off, she’s pretty good looking. I’m thinking. Wow, this might be the most amazing girl I’ve just seen randomly in class.

So I thought, this is how I’m going to jump this hurdle. I’m a 4th year, I suck at human contact outside of Asian American gatherings and I’m looking to step up my game here.
I’m going to jump my hurdle, meet her & get her number, then ask her out if she’s Christian. Haha. I figure she’s from LA/OC if she’s got an Angels backpack on. The only last problem is if she has a bf. I don’t think so, but i’ll post the results here after class is over. Good luck me.

So the deal was that I could get an interim car and then get something else later. Hahahha YESSS! This is like redeeming some of the tickets now but still save for the plasma ball!!! in other terms, i get to have my cake and eat it. (like that one, mike?)

And so I got a 2004 RSX Type-S. :D :D :D <33333
For those that don’t know, the RSX is the updated Integra, the car in part 1. Acura just changed the name. And now it is actually discontinued entirely.
Let me just say…I had this as my computer wallpaper for the year before it came out in 02. I’m very partial to the way the 02-04 models look with the bubble lights. There’s just something nostalgic about it. i mean, I do like the updated backlights on the 05-06 models, but only the Japanese Domestic Market Integra Type R (JDM ITR) ones.

Basically this is a kind of outlet for me. I honestly repressed these feelings of wanting to mod a car for forever since I’ve only had the accord. However now I’m able to finally release all that pent up passion for imports and put it into this car. After this car, I probably will end up getting a auto sedan again. But this is something I’ll never forget.

I am now going to be able to do the things I’ve always wanted to do with my car. I can make my car modified and live out the dreams I had when I was younger. For starters my car has a legittt sound system, which I will make a little more legittt. ;D I also am able to drive people without them thinking they’re going to die from a lack of safety features. I think black on black is an amazing color. I might’ve gone championship white, but it’s all good.
This makes me all soo excited. :D It’s a new toy, and tbh, it’s wayyy too nice. I AM SO THANKFUL TO MY PARENTS/GOD FOR THIS CAR.

My favorite things about it are:

1] Manual shifting is SOOOO nice. I LOVE it. it like makes me enjoy driving so much more. Except learning to parallel park again. Other than that though, it’s been amazing.

2]VTEC. Omg. I finally know what the heck every guy who had vtec is talking about. WOW, it is amazing when the engine hits that upper range and it takes off!!! VROOOM<333

3]Handling. WOW. It’s pretty ridiculous that I didn’t realize what handling really was until now. :cue “at last”: The accord just handles well enough for daily driving whereas you can hurl this thing around corners and it just sticks. Re donk…

I <333 modding my car. She’s just awesome to drive, all around.
I have a list of mods that I’ve done my research on to install. It’s just a matter of time before they’re all put in. I thought about doing Forced Induction (supercharger/turbocharger), but I don’t really need it tbh. But it’s still a maybeee. More of a maybe not tho.

So the whole reason why I’m posting about this is the fact that there are so many things in life that are the latest and greatest. It is so tempting to just splurge and possess those things especially if you have the means for them. :cough: iphone4g/htc incredible :cough:
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

I wanted to mention that whenever people would harp on my accord, I’d be kinda frustrated. I think it was just cuz I was like, man, I could be driving something else…but it’s my choice to drive this. Why does it matter what I’m driving to you? It shouldn’t. Does my accord change who I am, my personality? Nahhh…and your comments only scream values which I don’t care for, namely the world’s.

The lesson I learned while driving my accord was that I needed to be content with what I had. I had/have much more than most of the American teenage population has (I assume) in that I had a reliable car with decent gas mileage and my gas/insurance were both taken care of for me. There is no point where I should have been complaining to my parents about the situation at all. I’ll admit…there were some outbursts of ungratefulness that I will disclose as childish. I’m glad that I had the accord for so long as it taught me so many lessons. It was a great tool in terms of character building.

This brings me to my current car. I’m so thankful to have it. I appreciate this car immensely now because of the accord. Coming from that to this car, is ridiculously amazing. I love driving any chance I get because it’s so much fun. All in all, I’m appreciative of what the accord did for me, in that it made me content with whatever I had.

The R in project R stands for Redemption. I waited for what seemed like a while and I was definitely rewarded for the wait. Patience always pays off. :D

BTW: the first episode of the long awaited ki$h x yamada video blog collab is finally here. Check it and give them props and send them an email.

Project R

Disclaimer: I should probably preface this post with the fact that although this blog may seem at times a little narcissistic... [and tbh, it probably is] I just figured I should just put something up here as an alibi if people wanna hate.

i <3 haters.

Pretty much every guy I knew growing up in jr. high/high school wanted to have an import car and fix it up. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being practical, but c’mon…we’re teenagers, you’re supposed to dream! and not be realistic. Needless to say, I would dream about what car I would one day drive. I thought a civic or integra would be the most feasible.

Not just any civic though, I wanted the 2000 Si model in electric blue.

Or an Integra Type R in championship white…ahhH sooo sekushi !! !! Those were the two cars I would pine after. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about. I kinda wanted a car like in fast and the furious. And the civic was the one they used to hijack the semi during the movie (the one that went under the semi -_-) An integra was the one ja rule was driving. Nooo, Monica!!! :D

Old School…

Of course, come turning 16 and getting my permit/license, what did my parents get me for my first car? That’s right, a 93’ Honda Accord (10^th anniversary ed.)

woah woah woah!!!

before I get flamed for seemingly not being grateful, I AM very grateful to my parents for providing me with A CAR. That’s 10x more than most of the kids at my school got. And 100x more than most people.

So the 10^th anniversary accord was like the LX model with some of the features of the EX model. I think my car has MAYBE around 125hp at the crank. So 108whp. T_T

I got a comment from a girl [HS friend](recently) on me driving the accord,

“oh?! You’re STILL driving that accord!?”

like it was embarrassing or something! (kinda was…butt pleeeease. Like what I’m driving should really matterr! Note to self: I think I should keep the accord for future dates. Good way of knowing whatss upp with the date.

However, when the safety of not only myself, but my passengers is called into question, this is where the argument begins. Anytime I would floor it, my car would make plenty of noise, but didn’t go anywhere!!! This would lead to tough times on the on ramp while merging (LA/Pasadena old school on ramps were the worst...which are basically 0-60 exhibitions) as well as merging anywhere in general. (and no it’s not my driving) I would constantly have to put my car into D3 or 2 so that I would have some kind of power at the wheels when I merged. Also, I had no airbags for passenger or curtain air bags. Pretty much none of the current safety features of modern cars. Also the transmission rattles like crazy in anything but drive...even in drive too, actually lol. I also refused to put any money into this car, so my speakers eventually blew out. And while they were in their dying stages, I dubbed them the popcorn machine, because it sounded like it was popping some popcorn. Eventually the speakers blew out entirely and my sound system ceased to work. T_T [my dad replaced them just recently]

Anyways, I managed to drive this white stallion (grandma grocery getter) from its humble beginnings of 37k to 138k today. 101k put on by yours truly. I was definitely blessed with a pretty manageable car as I didn’t get into any major accidents, just a couple taps in the front (one that required a new hood)…and once in the back by some donk driving Saturn who won’t be named -_-

The storyyy…

I talked to my parents about getting a manual transmission soon after I received my accord. They said they would get me a different car when I turned 17. Sweet. So my integra and civic were still possible.

I got super excited and then my dad threw a curveball.

Wait till I graduate HS and get his STi or a brand new entry level car. Example: 2006 Civic Si (brand new)

Ohhh man, the STi aka beast! ! AMAZING! AllWheelDrive. 300whp. ::drool::

In hind sight, I probably should’ve swooped on this deal to close it out. Anyways, I said I’d wait.

And guess what happened come my time to choose again. That’s right, another deal was struck. He threw me another pitch and said I could get pretty much any car (within reason) I wanted when I graduated college. So like, BMW, Audi…etc.

I was like.

OH HOLD UP…::crosses arms in a thought provoking pose::

yeah, I’m going to wait, AGAIN!

To be honest…kinda feel like I got strung along like some kid at the ticket redemption in chuck e cheese. [not in a bad wayyy] justtt I could get a parachute guy now…[actually the parachute guys were awesome] or get the super cool plasma ball for 10,000 tickets -probably never-, but the illusion of one day getting it kept me thinking ahead. I’m a sucker for saving up for stuff sortta…but not really. Only when it comes to tickets @ video games. I had like 20k tickets at treasure island in vegas only for their arcade to close down T_T so I lost those. Sorry mom and dad, should’ve cashed those in, we just didn’t go to vegas enough. Hahahaha. Jk. :D

So I've been driving my auto accord from my beginning in HS to today. I just recently started looking at the car market (since I’m graduating) and there isn’t really anything out there that excites me. Now I do need a new car since it is that time to move on (+need more safety features, I get nervous for my passengers). So what did I do. I struck another deal. Hahaha. (who didn’t see this coming) -_- and what deal did I strike this time?

[I’ll continue this soon with p2] :P

watch thiss....hilarious!

In light of recent events, i'll have to deter from my scheduled Project R blog post and deliver with another substitute as much of my thoughts have gone elsewhere at the moment.

ok, for those who haven't seen Iron Man 2, yet, and want to still be completely in the dark when they see it...skip the next paragraph...I'll be using an analogy from the movie to my blog.

In IM2 Tony Stark needs to find a new source of energy in order to live, otherwise he'll die of poison from the palladium in his arc reactor. Thus he starts living his life in light of his impending doom as his rocks the Iron Man armor at his birthday. He then appoints Pepper as CEO and starts looking for the last bits of enjoyment in life. The point of this is that his life has just been taken a sharp turn towards a dead end. He sees that life might not be around in a few days or weeks and decides to act upon it. His life has been cut short.

ok. for those that skipped...here's what you missed:

Life is short.

And the reason i bring this up is that i've been hearing this said a lot more lately than ever before.

I mean, one of my roommates put up three pieces of paper with each of those words on a sheet on his wall. hahahaha, he had them stacked on top of each other before he spread them out and i went into his room and flipped through the three. curiosity got the best of me there....ahhaha. :D

a daily dose of real talk mentions it in her part1 of her piece ensemble. [[here]]

from the prodigal had the most amazing post last week about it and you should definitely check it out [[here]]

IMO it's a direct correlation with the fact that my class/age group is graduating and is starting to nostalgia/transition/grow from everything that occurred within their collegiate careers.

There's just so much to digest over a packed 4 year span. However, there is another fact that has been thrown into the mix of why people are thinking life is short; one of our friends from AACF passed away this past weekend. Andee Bee

The knowledge of this just shocked me.

(i'll pick this up in a second, just follow me...)

I recently have been thinking about my future. I plan on interning this summer at Lighthouse Community Church, and following that, I plan on going into seminary (hopefully at TMS). If you asked me at pretty much any point previous to this year what i was going to do, it would have not been doing ministry. I just didn't see myself doing anything more than short term missions or something along those lines[very limited in my thinking]. However, God has showed me different than whatever i had previously planned for myself. He humbled me, and tbh, I didn't see this coming at all. He straight up blindsided me with not only his truth, but his love. There was one fact at the end of a conversation that my mom had with me that really made an impact. it was that i never really had a passion for much: Math, Science, or anything like that [LOL academia, jk...but seriously :D]. I do, though, have a deep love for my savior Christ and the work of His kingdom. This is the only thing i do have a deep conviction for, tbh. Thus i started to think, to pray, and to digest this as a vocation. And i realized, there's nothing more amazing to me than a life of full time ministry. i mean you get to go to work and read the Word. that's so ill. :D

so how does this relate to: life is short and Andee Bee?

it has everything to do with it! let me say this...

Andee knew that i would one day become a pastor!

woah woah woah!!!

what are you saying here jt?!?!

stay with me...cuz this is pretty redonk...

ever since i met Andee back in our first year, she started calling me Pastor JT. i honestly thought it was a joke, but she was always sincere in it. like, really sincere. im pretty darn sure no one else held this view of me, especially my parents [lol].

and then i remember coming back from retreat in our second year, and she was just encouraging me in this and what she felt i would one day do. i thought it was completely ridiculous and (even hilarious) that she would say something like that. i feel so much like sarah, now, hearing that she would be preggers while barren and then became pregnant. i laughed at Andee's thought and in my mind pushed it aside. the fact was that i didn't believe it at all.

press FF and we end up here in our 4th year, almost graduating and now Andee has gone to be with her Savior. And what she said about me, has a good chance to come into fruition. I don't know what or how this all happened, but undoubtably it was orchestrated for a reason, that being to give God glory. Her passing has literally come at a most crucial point in my own life as i decide where to take the next step. I don't think i could count this all as anything short of providential as her words of encouragement have made a crazy impact over the last few days. it's now become something i'll remember for life. this is our wall to wall over last year.

what does this all mean?

well, for one, Andee's life has made a huge impact upon mine. It's crazy that over the past years, we drifted and hadn't talked, but she still would call me Pastor JT.

for another, life is short. As humans, we just can't comprehend what eternity is like. we're so enwrapped in being temporal beings that the thought of life without an end is hard to imagine. but this life will end and the next will begin. we need to live in light of an eternal perspective. make sure that God's glory is your number one concern. it's the #1 thing we need to live for.

i'll leave this post with a poem. please pray for andee's family and fiance during this time.

Two little lines I heard one day,Traveling along life's busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in 'that day' my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgement seat;
Only one life,'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God's holy will to cleave;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e'er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, "twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say,"Thy will be done";
And when at last I'll hear the call, I know I'll say "twas worth it all";

Only one life,'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

-Anon

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/justintanaka

hmmm... there are so many things i want to blog about, it's kinda crazy. o.O

i'll list a few so you'll get an idea of my upcoming talks will be on...

1] Project R -- a simple teenage desire --

2] Pulling the trigger -- in doing activities, in sharing the word, and in relationships --

(two part series)

3a] Storms -- in relationships, in friendships, and in family --

3b] Deliverance -- in valleys, in pain, and in uncertainty --

4] colab -- ??? -- (this will be really good, maddd hype)

there has been so much on my mind. ALSO. i'm planning on doing more collab blogs that will feature a guest person as a topic generator and commentary on different things. lots of things in store for the future. so i'll leave you all with two things that have spoken truth to me.

"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love." - Henry Ward Beecher

how true is this statement... [^_^]

this is for trace and matt.

"you can't make up your mind mind mind mind mind, please dont waste my time time time time time, i'm not trying to rewind wind wind wind wind, i wish our hearts could come together as one."